Have you ever been on a date with someone and you could tell right away that they weren’t a good romantic fit, but you’d make good friends? Ended a relationship on good terms and still wanted that person in your life? Knew your friend had a crush on you, but didn’t reciprocate those feelings? If you answered yes to any of these questions then you’re in the right place!
So many people are afraid of the “friend zone” as if being friends is such a bad thing. Not everyone is obligated to like you nor are you obligated to like them. If you don’t like being in the “friend zone” then remove yourself. Shoot your shot if you want to, but don’t make a person feel bad if they don’t share the same feelings as you. Now for those of you that genuinely want to pursue a friendship, I have a few words of advice for navigating through those murky waters.
Here are a few tips to make being “just friends” a little easier:
1. Don’t talk about your ex.
We may not like to admit it, but we all get jealous from time to time. Even with our friends. If you know the person has been interested in you, keep the ex talk to a minimum. You may think you’re making a statement by constantly bringing up an ex, but most likely you’re just making the other person uncomfortable. And that can either cause them to obsess over your past as well or cut you off completely.
2. Make your intentions clear.
Let he or she know that all you want to be is friends. This could be a hard conversation to have, but it is necessary. Making it known that you want to be nothing more than friends will make it a lot easier to move on with the friendship. Spell it out on paper if you must, just don’t be mean about it! Let them know that you appreciate their place your life, but in a strictly platonic way.
3. They are NOT a booty call.
I know nights get lonely and the days are long and you would love some company, but find it elsewhere honey. Friends with benefits may seem appealing, but that isn’t the kind of friendship we are trying to build. Fooling around will just cause confusion and no one needs any more of that. No matter how late it gets or even if they text you first, DON’T do it.
4. Take it slow.
Yes, I know we’re talking about being friends, but you still have to take it slow. This person may or may not still have feelings for you, so you want to give them enough space and time to deal with that. If you’ve just let them down, don’t expect to hang out every day or be tagged in their favorite memes. Check in with them often enough so they see you still care, but allow them to come to you when they’re ready.
5. Listen to them.
We are working on building a strong friendship, and just like any other relationship communication is key. The same way you have feelings and thoughts, so do they. Don’t make it all about you. Listen to what they’re saying and take their feelings into consideration as well.
6. It’s okay to move on.
There were some people we just weren’t meant to be friends with. Not everyone is a permanent fixture in your life so if this friendship isn’t working, it’s okay to let it go. Once you’ve done all that you can, you can’t do any more. You don’t have to be mean or nasty, but you can wish them well and continue on without them.
There you have it! How to make being “just friends” look easy. This is the third post in my Success For 1 series so be sure to check out the others. Remember that we are all human and sometimes we can’t help the way we feel. Communication plays a huge role in how smoothly relationships run, and that goes for friendships as well. Know when to talk and when to let it go. I hope this has helped you guys out and makes your friend zone a little less hostile.
Be sure to like and share to your friends. Have a great day!